2016 Week #17: Eagles vs. Cowboys

For most of the season, the Eagles have been living their own version of the movie “Groundhog Day”. But unfortunately, their 2016 campaign did not include Bill Murray or Chris Elliott, and did not provide any comic relief either.

So often, their “gamedays” followed the same path – a close game in the 4th quarter with a chance to win it, yet the Eagles constantly ended up falling short.

The Baltimore game two weeks ago looked like it could be the one to end their groundhog day “funk”, but a tipped pass on the 2-pt. conversion spelled doomed, and the Eagles must have felt like they had, once again, woken up the next morning to Sonny & Cher’s hit “I Got You Babe”.

But even Bill Murray finally woke up to a different outcome, as did the Eagles after beating the Giants last Thursday night, 24-19, in the penultimate game of the season that only delayed the Giants invite to the all-important playoff party.

But while the Birds being left off the guest list was sealed before that, the win at least broke the hex that they could not win a close game at the end.  Lose that game, and that feeling would have lingered into the cold, dark offseason.  Instead, the Birds have something to build on going into 2017.

This week the Birds will end their season at home, on New Years’ Day no less, against the hated Dallas Cowboys.  Normally, the Cowboys game is always a big game at home, no matter the records of either team, but this year will be different.

If the Eagles 3-0 start had actually lead to something, Philadelphia might have had reason to hold their own “GOP” (grand old party) in anticipation of an Eagles victory and possible playoff appearance.  Instead, the Cowboys will be marching out some of their “Junior Varsity” team, while the Mummers will concurrently be marching down Broad Street.  The Mummers string bands will be performing while the Eagles will be merely playing out the string.

One should expect a lot of “backups” in this game – both on the field and in the porta-potty lines outside from all the alcohol being consumed.  And things could get ugly in the stands as well, especially if a lot of Cowboys fans show up in their jerseys.

Speaking of Dallas fans, all the “Romo-sexuals” should be happy, since it looks likely that their boy, Tony Romo, will come off the sideline and see his shadow for the first time on the playing field.

But I guess we really shouldn’t be surprised that this final game is meaningless.  Going back the last twenty years, based on the crack staff research team here at “As Broad & Pattison Turns”, the final regular season game means absolutely nothing 70% of the time.

How did I come up with 70%?

  • In the last twenty years, the Eagles have failed to make the playoffs in nine of the last twenty years (45% of the time).  In all nine of those seasons, the Eagles playoff fate was sealed before the last game of the season was played.
  • In five of the eleven years that the Eagles made the playoffs, their last game was considered meaningless, since it would not significantly alter their playoff seeding (by significantly, I mean from wildcard to division winner, division winner with no bye to a bye week, etc.)

As for predictions, the Eagles should win just based on the fact that Dallas will be resting some of their starters.  But while a 7-9 record is not a bad start to a rebuild, let’s not kid ourselves – this team needs a lot of help in many areas.  This franchise that once went to four straight NFC Championships not so long ago (2001-2004) hasn’t won a playoff game in eight years….a fact that is not lost on this fan base.

Amit’s Marquee Matchups of the Week (all times in EST and on Sunday unless noted otherwise):

Packers at Lions 8:30 PM NBC – The ONLY meaningful game this week for both teams

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